Saturday, August 10, 2013

Seeing the Father's Heart of God

"having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you..." Ephesians 1:18

This verse could effectively be the theme of what I consider one of the sweetest Summers I've enjoyed. How gracious of our God to enlighten the eyes of our hearts. He does not leave us in ignorance to the hope He holds for us. 

No doubt, this summer has been an adventure. I'm still not over the novelty that I'm a mama. What a delight it is getting to hold my sweet Macie Jane and discover life with her. Every single day is a learning experience. Do you want to know the biggest object lesson of life? Become a parent. Wow. God has used our precious, precious baby girl to teach me so much about Him and so much about me. Let me share an example, you'll catch on, and I'm sure we could find a thousand other parallels. 

Macie Jane has a bi-monthly check up to oversee her growth/development and to receive scheduled vaccinations. She of course has no clue what's going on (yet) but I do. She feels fine and happy. She's smiling and enjoying the crinkle of the exam table paper. My heart aches knowing what's coming. If you're a mommy you understand what it does to you to see that sweet face wince in pain. Absolutely, hands down, I cry significantly more than she does. After we pull ourselves together and check out of the doctors office we head home. It is a quiet ride. Shots tend to exhaust our baby girl. 

As we drive I'm thinking and praying. "Oh, Lord, help me to remember this is necessary. Help me to see that this was for her good. I know she doesn't understand. All she understood was the pain but I know that if it were not for this momentary pain she could one day feel pain much worse than she nor I can imagine." And then, it's almost like I could audibly hear Him say to me- I know what you feel. I feel it much deeper. 

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has beentempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:15,16

How thankful I am for His mercy and grace no matter the time of need. His grace is sufficient for a mommy's heart. I begin to think about the Father's heart of God. Macie Jane belongs to me because I'm her Mommy but ultimately she belongs to Jesus. In the same way, I am my mother's daughter but ultimately I belong to Jesus. How many times in life have I been enjoying the metaphorical crinkle of the exam paper and then to have my world rocked in pain. Was God absent? Absolutely not! He was there, He is always there. In the pain of life He is sovereign. In the moments (or days or weeks or months or years) of pain I would ache. At times the pain felt blinding and hope, although always there, sometimes seemed fleeting, but He is always with me. Parts of life were difficult to understand. However, I would gladly say that if it were not for those painful experiences I would not be who God is making me today. A few wise women have reminded me that, "nothing touches my life apart from God allowing it." How thankful I am for that truth! I didn't understand then but over a relatively short amount of time I have been able to see His gracious hand of mercy. I am grateful for my hope in Him and for How He changes us from "glory to glory."

My little butter bean has no idea how powerful her life has already been used by our God. Daily, I see Him clearly a little more and a little more. 

Thank you, Jesus for allowing me to be Macie Jane's mommy! Help me to hold her with an open hand, remembering that she belongs to you. Help me to be a reflection of you. Most of all, dear Jesus, help our sweet baby to know you, love you, and walk with you. Amen.